Oh dear LORD it's time for a rebrand...
You ever look back on your old stuff and the shit you post and just...wanna crawl in a hole and die? DELETE DELETE DELETE
Here I am. Wow. I was an immature little twat.
Yeah, I am so sorry for all of...that.
I've changed, I've matured a bit. Thank the heavens. Cause...past me was...wow.
I'm so sorry.
I'm gonna fix this. I do have some good things though! So here are some things that are coming up that I'm super excited about!
Moving on!
I'm coming up with a completely original story! It...does not have a name yet, because I suck at titles. That...that never changed. That's just a constant.
But I will tell you what it's about since I'm fine tuning the outline before I start to write the first draft.
Imagine if you will, the fate of the world, in the hands of a quasi famous internet exorcist with a rap sheet longer than the red carpet, her vampire boyfriend who had just woken up into the world recently, a hacker and an archivist. This isn't destiny, it's just shitty circumstances and a hellish cult holding all the cards aimed to awaken the ancient one only referred to as 'the devourer'.
This story has a lot to it, a lot of humor, a lot of depth, and a whole bunch of romance. It's also a bit mature as well, so I would not recommend reading this underage. Just...yeah. I know there's going to be some 15+ people who will be like I've been reading smut since I was younger and all. I know, I was one of those people too. Just...relax. The story is probably going to be here when you're at least 18. I can't stop you and honestly me condemning those underage for reading shit like that when I used to practically bury myself in it is very hypocritical. I know I can't stop you, I'm just going to ask nicely that you reconsider.
I will be giving sneak peeks every once in a while as well. I hope you guys will consider reading it!
For now, it'll just be on Wattpad but I'm considering throwing it on here as well, hence the whole rebrand~ Ta-da~
At any rate, if you liked anything I wrote, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I've only gotten better at this writing thing over the years, and I can't wait for you to see the fruits of my labor~
My bad, y'all
When I was putting my second book of Unity on here, I was linking up the chapters so you all could just go in order. See the thing is, I was rushing and being careless at the time. So I ended up throwing all of you back to the very beginning of Unity even though you guys were on Book Two. I have of last night fixed that huge error and you all should be able to enjoy Unity without any problems.
So if any of you were confused, it was an error on my part not yours. I hope the navigation is a little better for you all and I hope you enjoy my story. Book Three is well on its way, and I'll be more careful with the chapter navigation next time~
I am a model...
But I am not
loose
going to sleep with you
stuck up
hungry
anorexic
a bitch
bougie
in the mood to be sexualized every five minutes
arrogant
stupid
perfect
I do have
acne
food cravings
a stash of the most unhealthy foods you can think of
insecurities
anxiety
confidence
fear
friends that are not models (and I love them all dearly)
other aspirations/hobbies
other dreams
a brain
reasons to fight
lazy days
bad days
the craziest laugh
imperfections
I am
dark-skinned
beautiful
me
A Black Woman's Perspective
Let me shed some light on you all. Being black is hard enough, especially in today’s society, but a black woman? We’re treated like dogs and yet we still stand strong.
I am a dark-skinned black woman and took years and years of reassurance that I was truly beautiful. Because society shuns (yet envies) my skin so much. The negativity has poisoned and brainwashed so many people that a whole industry is made out of it. Dark skin is very beautiful. I want this to be known. All skin is beautiful we all know this, but we’re going to focus on the one that’s being destroyed, not ignored.
As a dark skinned woman walking into the world where white skin is the epitome of beauty, I knew I was going to deal with a lot of challenges in the modeling world. To society, I am nowhere near beautiful. I’m nothing more than a hood rat to some people, and it hurts. But I must go on. I have to go on. Because I am beautiful, because dark skin is beautiful and it's time the world understood it. I know it won’t be easy at all. Black skin is sexualized only and I’m sick of it. (How odd seeing as I’m going into modeling) The way people look at me sometimes, I feel like a walking blow up doll, an object, something to be used, and often my family warned me about this, people will try to use me like that, I need to be careful who I fall in love with (they’ve never cared about the ethnicity of the partner) because they may be using me for a notch under their belt. We’re so oversexualized, but damned it be if we see ourselves as beautiful, damn us if we see ourselves as anything more. That is what I have to deal with. I’ve been told I could never be a good wife or mother my whole life, I could never have a normal family with a man and children because of the color of my skin. Black men constantly berating their sisters for their pride in their skin, hair, and using that to say that’s why they prefer white women or latino women. Dark skinned women are treated the lowest of the low, just for the pigmentation they were born with, which only leads to the bitterness and self hatred that the stereotype that is branded on us. Yes, the angry black woman.
We are not angry, we are tired.
We are tired of being seen as less; not only by society, but by our own men.
We are tired of being hurt, suspicious of any man who approaches us.
We are tired of being berated and destroyed.
We are tired of being called ugly and undesirable. But yet we watch so many women go under the knife for features we were born with.
We are tired of the arrogant women of other races constantly attacking our self worth because a black man wants her.
We are sick and tired of being sick and tired.
And that's only the tip of the iceburg
My Own Bullshit with the Police
Thankfully, what I experienced was not even close to what other unfortunate souls had gone through and died from. And I’m not comparing my bullshit the tragedies of those who lost their lives or are greatly damaged by police brutality. But I’m going to tell my story as well. I was not touched or called out to, but these was me getting saved by the grace of God from two Pigs who could’ve hurt me with little to no problem. But luckily they were out of my reach. Matter of fact, if I hadn’t crossed when I did, I think I would’ve been in a hell of a lot more trouble.
I was walking down to my friends house and I walked out these housing districts to cross to the other side. While I was strolling along, I noticed these police cars, the lights circling and a car on the side of the rode. A black woman was with them. But from what I saw they weren’t harassing her. Her car appeared to look like it was hit and abandoned. She was unharmed, Thank God.
Now as I was walking by, worried about the woman, one of the cops spots me and looks me in the face, as I’m across the street. We’re not that far apart, we can see each other’s faces very easily. Now his whole body language shifts. He relaxes and leans back slightly, I’m watching his face and he looks from my face to my chest. I watch his eyes and I can easily see he’s staring at my body. The other male cop looks at his partner or whatever before following his eyes and now he stares down my body. At this point, I feel like a piece of fuckmeat. I watch them from the corner of my eye, feeling their eyes pierce my body. The second cop goes back to doing his work and talking with the other woman. But that one cop keeps gazing up and down my body, and I can feel it. This disgusting, horrible aura washes over me. I cover my chest a little and keep the small backpack I had at my hips covering my butt. I didn’t want him to watch me anymore. The way his eyes followed me, the way I felt, the way he looked at me. I no longer felt like a person for that moment, until I turned the corner and was out of his sight, he took away my humanity, just with the way he looked at me. Not only did that feeling carry disturbing perverted air, but I felt a sense of dominance emitting from him; arrogance. He smirked at me as I covered myself and I swore he licked his lips quickly. He made me feel like there was nothing I could do about the way he looked at me. And that’s exactly how I felt. Powerless.
At this point, I’m praising God, that I crossed the way I did. Because if I was on the same side as them…I honestly don’t know what would happen to me. I don’t even want to think of it. What scared me was I’m very small in height, weight and stature, I’m very petite. I don’t look like I could hold my own if I was in danger, or if they attacked me. And I can only hope the woman is okay. Though, she was significantly larger than me. She was pretty tall and looked like she would give hell if she fought back.(Just makes them seem more like sick cowards doesn’t it?) She seemed fine, but she retained her distance from them (very wisely should I add). I hope she’s okay.